Dual....:-)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
