you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
