i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
