No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
