Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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