PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
