so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
