I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
