Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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