I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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