the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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