Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
