Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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