he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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