would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
