Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
