i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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