Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
