love makes seman taste better
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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