ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
