You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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