420 ftw
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
