I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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