Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
why do cheetos always look like penises
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
