Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
