they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
