Will you blow on my dice?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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