Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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