R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
