I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
