Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this will be a night to untag.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
