you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its liver damage thursday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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