he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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