apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
