that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
