he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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