dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
