i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
