Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
tell me about the fingering
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