how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
