What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
