You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
