We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
