What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
