glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
