Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He better not be in your backpack
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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