apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
