we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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