I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
