You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
