btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
NoShamevember. You game?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
