I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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