I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
