I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
