Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
