I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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